The mind is odd. I have to get it off my chest.
The mind allows oneself to shift into many odd forms, with which anything created in the mind.. is reality itself. But it can also hold a very strange tool.
It is like a geared sight, when you focus in on something, it embarks a layer to a reality.
THIS.. I want to witness this. I want to know why this odd loophole in reality exists. I want to gain meaning from this tool. But what meaning is this? and how factual is it truly going to be? How do I find these truths, these facts of the self, of the reality?
Its strange. With questions I am continuously shifting. its such an odd sensation.. to believe, which inadvertently shifts me. I have noticed that I aim to explain the minuscule nothings. These rotton nothings that have been implanted into my very basis of reality. Its strange to think, how I have been grown, without a second thought, that a chair is a chair, an elephant is an elephant, a spoon is a spoon. These words, passed down through the grapevine of society.. implanted into me, into my unconscious.. I dont have to think why I know these images when these words are said. I just do, and I accept.
But then I research meaning for my many many questions, and the awareness.. what is it? what am I becoming aware of?
suffering? attachment to transient things? are these truly the reasons why I was raised to accept most things taught to me? so that I could be spared of suffering? and be attached, and rooted to something or anything?
I read about seeking truths, I read how I should not want the physical objects that surround me, to not want these implanted ideas. But what is the alternative? nothingness? to accept nothing and be nothing, which in tern is accepting everything and being everything?
In a greater sense suffering and objects are the two main creators of perception and in tern create a pathway to belief. Belief in anything.
This lack of understanding. The lack of the mind itself is attached to so many things. desire, passion, ardour, pursuit of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging. But doesn't this mean that because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable? thus suffering will necessarily follow? is this a truth? I need to strike away this idea of a "self". Its is a delusion, because there is no abiding self. What we call "self" is just an imagined entity, created by surroundings. All we are is merely a part of the ceaseless becoming of the universe, and with this thought I can breathe easier.
